Monthly Archives: October 2015

the smell of rain

i love the smell of rain. when i smell it, the first thing that comes to my mind is home. and childhood. which is a sweet feeling. but soon after that, my thoughts comes to the present. and then i realize how much i really like the smell of rain for real, not for the nostalgia. i love it now, and here. it’s fresh and pure. and it makes me happy.

learning

when i was 11 or so i learnt what “voltage” is.

i used to build things by soldering cables and resistors and LEDs and build small circuits (following instructions at first, later doing my own designs which were pretty simple of course). at some point in those early days i remember asking myself why was i sticking to 9V batteries and not using the electricity sockets in the walls, just like the TV set was doing. so i plugged the little LED + resistor to the 220V socket in the wall and i blew the fuses of my house, burn the LED and got a 2 seconds electrocution that felt like an intense bite in my fingers all simultaneously. it was intense (no pun intended), and from there on i started reading about voltage and having a deeper understanding of basic electronics. and more importantly, i learn to never stick anything in those sockets or touch non isolated wires with my bare fingers ever again.

now, the plugs of my apartment have a little plastic protection to prevent kids from going through the same experience. and i guess that is good. but a little old-and-grumpy-man’s voice inside me feels that maybe it’s preventing kids from learning a powerful lesson? isn’t there some vaccine effect in the experience? nah. maybe i lost too many neurons in those experiences and i can’t reason clearly anymore.

disappointed myself

sometimes i think i’m fucked up.

the other day i saw a guy in the train with (i assume) a birth defect who had very tiny tiny arms and malformed hands, which clearly made functioning in life normally impossible. but rather than feeling sorry for him for not being able to write an email or drive a car or get a drink, my first though was of pity for his inability to reach his dick. i felt so weirdly (and somehow fascinatedly) like crap for the next half hour.

should not be a noun

i’m sorry, i don’t consider “entrepreneur” and “innovator” to be valid job titles.

i tend to think they shouldn’t even be nouns but just verbs or adjectives. anyways, in my humble opinion, if you are giving one of those job titles to yourself you are either lying or not understanding how innovation works. i think.

too late

if you haven’t completed your moral and intellectual homework by, say, age 21… then you’ll have to live by media ads and cheesie online inspirational quotes. and don’t you dear lecture the rest of the people around you – you’ll sound foolish but probably nobody will have the courage to tell you!

i don’t even

I’ll never understand those people who write reviews for a free weather app. The four thousand of them. I don’t even

people who make the world a worse place

The other day I received this email:

“Hello,

I was wondering if you’d have any interest in VRshader.com or shader.tech for future projects? Both of those domains are for sale.

Thanks,
[omitted name]”

This came out of the blue, I haven’t needed a domain name in years. Still, this email made me so angry that I decided to not ignore the email (as I’d normally do to such random emails) but play a bit and make my point to him. I went to the domain and entered the following in the purchase request form:

USD $ offered : 0
Details to your offer:

“Hello. I really like the name of the domain, it’s perfect for the kind of work I do.

I can accept $15,000 from you in order to grant and transfer ownership and control of this domain (vrshader.com) to me. You can transfer me the money whatever way is most convenient to you. That money will help me take a few weeks off (non paid vacations) so that I can work on uploading quality educational content for people to enjoy for free (since education must be free). It will also help me pay the servers/hosting.

I have a full series of tutorials of shading, procedural content, gpu and maths in mind that I believe people (students, hobbyists and preofessionals alike) would enjoy. With your support I can make it happen.

Looking forward to hearing from you,

Inigo”

It didn’t take but a few hours to get his response:

“Hi Inigo,

Thank you for your interest in VRshader.com. Sorry for any confusion. I am only looking to sell this domain to a buyer, I don’t have any intention to build up the site. I only want to sell the VRshader.com domain. It seems like you would be able to put it to good use. If you would like to purchase the domain, please let me know.

Thanks,
[omitted name]”

and mine followed soon after:

“Hi [omitted name],

I’m confused too. If you are not interested in building the site and bringing some content to the internet… why did you purchase the domain? Just to make creators that might need it pay you for… having not added any value, for having done nothing? (I won’t purchase the domain, of course).

Thanks”

It is fuckers like this guy that make the world a worse place. Of course this instance of motherfuckerism has no impact in the big picture, and it doesn’t affect my life. But think what happens when people whose brain operate like this asshole’s are in positions of power. Such a politician or a banker or a CEO can crew people’s life by the hundreds or millions.

suggestion

I wish the warning message in tobacco packaging changed from “Smoking causes mouth and throat cancer” to “Smoking causes the guy behind you that you are annoying with your disgusting fart smelling smoke go punch you in the fucking face”

Cause it’s not about health, it’s about cohabitation

thanks, number five

i’ve spent five years living in the unit number five of this apartment block. for me, living in San Francisco, means living in this one bedroom apartment.

it is a little bit more than a century old today. and it totally feels like it – it comes with no dish washer and no laundry machine. a bit third world-ish, just like the city itself. but it has some charm. and i love it. amazing things have happened to me while living in it, some even in it, and the memories i’ll have of this place are all warm and make me smile. i think that much of who i am today has been shaped while i inhabited this apartment number five, first floor (“second floor”, in america”) that i called “home”. it almost feels like its walls are an extension of me.

it is going to be weird to leave this place. today, i am closing the door behind me and giving the keys to the landlord. i am excited and happy, i am opening a new chapter of my life that it’s the most exciting thing it’s ever happened to me. but before that i let the nostalgia overflow my consciousness for a few seconds. it’s a sweet and wonderful nostalgia, because it was all beautiful. it is a celebration of an amazing five years in and in the company of this apartment. i lock the door and say thanks!

first time alone

i remember being in a hotel in a small town in Finland, 12 years ago (back when i was working in VR and traveled a lot to universities and oil&gas or engineering companies). it was a winter and the city was covered by deep snow. after work there was nothing i could do but stay in my hotel. these were the times right before twitter, facebook and youtube, so there was nothing i could do in the isolation of my bedroom other than watch porn, which you can only do for that long anyways. so instead i went downstairs to the hall and ordered a drink. i remember it was a good hotel for the size of the town, even a bit in the fancy side of the spectrum. the lighting was golden yellow, the tables made of transparent glass. it was pretty empty, and this was the first time in my life i was in a bar getting a drink by my own. i celebrated this milestone with a second drink and smile and thought that perhaps one day in the future i’d remember that moment.

i miss commuting by train

i miss commuting by train and coming back late at night to the city, preferably in a rainy night when the car is packed and the dripping of the umbrellas make the floor wet. i miss staring at a stranger and studying their features and random subtle facial movements for many minutes, but only secretly though a reflection in the window of the car. i even miss being caught and doing that slightly awkward eye contact though the reflection. should i break the contact? should i smile? these things do not happen when you commute all by your own in bicycle.

i miss commuting in the train.

it’s about your puppy, not you

walking in sf downtown at night i hear the following conversation between a fellow random pedestrian and a puppy owning pedestrian:

– awwww, it’s so cute!
– thanks!

which is very weird to me. i always feel that “thanks” is the wrong reply here. “thanks” for what? for acknowledging that the puppy is cute? the owner though it wasn’t cute but the comment made her day perhaps? or is the comment a way of congratulating the owner for having a good taste on choosing dog puppies? i’ve never understood. to me the conversation should have gone with a reply in the line of “i know, right? she’s very mischievous too!” or “mehhh, she’s okey, but she’s very smart and loving!”. because the comment (compliment) was to the dog, not to the owner, right? right? it confuses me a lot.